Monday, October 12, 2009

Kenyan bisexuality myths

The thought of a person that is attracted to both men and women can be confusing and frequently leads to misconceptions and stereotypes. Kenyans are quick to dismiss the idea that it is possible for one to be attracted more than one gender.

Below are the top myths about bi men.

Myth: Bisexuality Is Only A Phase

For years the gay community has challenged heterosexuals who publicly state that homosexuality is only a phase. Bisexuals face the same generalization from both the gay and straight communities. Many bisexuals are completely in touch with their emotions and desires for members of both genders and often feel limited by the thought of attraction to only a man or woman. Emotional connections often take precedence when bisexuals pursue a potential partner. Bisexuality is just as much of a natural process as homosexuality and heterosexuality.

Myth: Bi Men Have To Choose To Be Either Gay or Straight

Bisexuals are attracted to both men and women on both an emotional and physical level. Some "lean straight" (meaning they prefer a member of the opposite sex, but same-sex partners are always an option) and others "lean gay" (which means they prefer members of the same sex, but would consider a relationship with a member of the opposite sex). Nonetheless, they are not simply gay or straight and definitely do not have to choose

Myth: Bisexual Men Are Sexually Confused

A common misconception in both the gay and heterosexual communities is that bisexuals are sexually confused. This misconception is far from the truth. Bisexuals are attracted to both sexes and are in many cases more clear about their sexuality than most others.

Myth: Bisexual Men Will Never Marry

Alongside the thought that bisexual men and women are sexually confused is the myth that they will never be able to settle down in a monogamous relationship with a partner of either gender. In many cases, bisexuals put a lot of emphasis on emotional connections. That in mind, the opportunity to find a life partner is just as viable as it is in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship

Myth: Bi Men Are Sexually Promiscuous

Bisexuals are no more promiscuous than any others. Promiscuity (or frequent sex with multiple partners) is an individual trait not to be associated with any one group of people. However, liking both males and females increases a bisexual man's chances of finding a sexual partner or potential relationship (by shear numbers alone).

Myth: Everybody is bisexual
Although most people experience an attraction for someone of the same gender at some point in their lives, this does not mean that everyone is bisexual. For most people these feelings pass or change over time without the person ever questioning or redefining their sexual orientations.

Myth:To be bisexual you have to love both genders equally.
Identifying as bisexual does not set a limit as to how attracted one must feel towards either gender. There is no defined cut off point at which one must cease to identify as bisexual and must identify as gay/lesbian or straight because of a shift in attractions. Most bisexuals do not f eel equally attracted to both genders on a sexual and emotional levels and experience shifts in attraction levels to either genders.* Some bisexuals are not attracted to a gender per se, but are instead attracted to the person's personality or various other attributes and take note of gender afterwards, if at all. In these cases gender does not really come into play.

Myth: Bisexuals are much more likely to carry sexually transmitted infections
It's not who or what a person is that makes them more likely to carry diseases and infections. It is what a person DOES, the sexual practices of a person, in particular how well a person protects him/herself during sexual activities. The more educated one becomes about STD's the better protected one can be from infection.

Myth : Bisexuals are more accepted by straight society.
This myth has all been expressed by some as "Bisexuals are more accepted by gay/lesbian society." The truth is that although bisexual activists fight for many of the same rights as gay and lesbian people do, they are not always made to feel welcome as a part of the community/movement. The heterosexual community often groups bisexuals as being "confused or undercover homosexuals" and so rejects bisexuals and the concept of bisexuality. For the opposite reason some lesbian and gay people reject bisexuality as a valid sexual orientation and see the stigma and not the people. The fact is that many bisexual people feel as if they are somewhere in between the two worlds and feel both positive and negative feelings from both. This is not to say that lesbian, gay and bisexual people do not work together in the equal rights movement and accomplish great things.


  1. OMG! absolutely riveting, educational and insightful writing here, am sucha follower now, as u said keep it here! keep it comin!

  2. I love this! I once did a myths post but on Gay issues. Keep writing

  3. i don't not agree with you entirely.

    I reckon that bisexuals are just plain greedy and are in fact double-dipping! Selfish and wanting to have everything on the buffet table..

    If a man is in a relationship with a bisexual dude, how does he compete with a woman? b'coz clearly, sooner or later he'll be going for some some on the other side.

    Bisexuality is a stop over just before Ricky-Martin-ville. It's actually a phase.

  4. Being bisexual simply mean the capacity to love people of both genders. Whereas a gay man/woman would notice his/her gender if a man and a woman were walking the streets together, the bisexual man/woman would invariably notice both.

    It means being sexually attracted (to both genders) and acting on these feeling. Bisexuals can have sex, albeit pleasurable sex and pillow play with both genders (man/woman). Both the physique and form of both bodies of both these sexes make him/her get excited.

    A bisexual is emotionally attached to both genders. He/she can love both man and woman and this can be a a fulfilling relationship. He/She gives times, sometime equal, sometimes not, to persons he/she loves i.e. both man/woman.

  5. Myth : Bisexuality is only a transition phase!
    It depends, on one hand, this can be true for some bisexuals who end-up setting themselves permanently into a straight or homosexual relationship. For others, on the other hand, the transition spread out over the span of a life time because they will always be bisexual at age 70. Perhaps that their very life is only a transition, a passage…
    Myth : Bisexuals are traitors for the gay cause!
    The fact, being bisexual does not prevent from militating side by side with gays for more rights and a better social acceptance, and it is best to do so in our own and mutual interest. To be bisexual is also being homosexual. We encounter the same problems about discrimination, and of verbal and physical abuse. Some bisexuals are homophobes, perhaps, but have you ever met homophobic homosexuals? And when, in some social circuits, to tell that you are bi can prove to be more difficult that saying you are gay or lesbian. We should ask oneself questions…Hoping there is enough room for everyone in this world…

  6. I can´t agree more about stereotypes and myths around us. I just want to encourage you and all of the other people out there to be truthful to who you are.

    I also deal these issues in my blog: